The more you try to “fix” yourself, the more broken you feel. — I was 25 years old and I’d just fallen out with a friend. We’d both said things calculated to hurt one another, but when I reached out to make a half-baked apology (of the ‘if you’ll say you’re wrong, I’ll say I’m wrong’ variety) she didn’t take the bate. She…

Or are you just too scared to break-up? — A year ago I wrote an article on Medium: ‘Help! I’ve Fallen in Love with Another Man’, subtitled ‘And my husband is okay with it’. I liked the idea that I could be the type of person who could have an open relationship. …

And other women don’t like it. — He is tall, unfairly handsome, with a voice so deep that it makes others sound like tinkling cutlery. I have a type — and it’s not him. I shy away from power. I don’t much like to stand out. The thought of trying to catch someone’s attention is tiring to…

He loves me back. The only problem is, now what? — A beautiful man is sitting in front of me, telling me he’s fallen in love. Instinctively, I want to look over my shoulder — to see who he’s really talking to. We’re alone, of course, and I’m the person he’s come to see. I’m the person he’s talking to —the…

Stop waiting until you’re perfect to show your face. — February 2021. Finally, I was going home. I’d been away from New Zealand for 20 years, since I was a teenager, and I was more than ready to put down roots— again — in a country I still loved and missed. I never intended to be away for that long…

And my husband is okay with it. — I’ve always been a “good girl” — even though I hate the term. Even though I admire women who buck against society’s expectations and expect more for themselves than the pat on the back they get for their obedience, repressed desires, and failure to live up to their potential. …

A word of warning for my daughter — I hope my daughter is spared the kind of teacher who takes her aside and in a hushed voice tells her she’s special: she’s not like the other kids. That she’s got something. The kind who turns off the lights in his office after school — so anyone looking in…

We couldn’t afford to buy into modern life, so we opted out — and we love it. — ‘Family’ can’t truly thrive unless we start viewing the rest of the world as family too I wouldn’t call myself a hippie, but here I am: living in community, among people who care about our planet, about living green, sustainable lives whilst interrogating what it means to be human, and…

(And start making radical changes to your life) — As a teenager, I’d always felt “wrong” for being so anxious and unhappy — I saw these feelings as a sign of my failure to fit in, and as long as I felt them, I thought I would never be the well-adjusted person I so wanted to be. If only…